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— Adam Carolla"Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it."
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Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is the most afraid of getting ruffied? It's like relax. YOU can take the coaster off your drink. There are at least three of us in line ahead of you.
— Natasha Leggero
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When I was a kid my dad would say, "Emo, do you believe in the Lord?" I'd say, "Yes!" He'd say, "Then stand up and shout Hallelujah!" So I would ... and I'd fall out of the roller coaster.
— Emo Philips
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