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— Andy Kindler"I actually performed at an orthodox Jewish wedding, where the men were separated from the women, but they both came together to not enjoy what I was talking about."
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I feel worthless. My girlfriend was attacked on the subway yesterday. And I can't even enjoy it.
— Anthony Jeselnik
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Hotels are the only proper places for lecturers. When I am ill-natured I so enjoy the freedom of a hotel where I can ring up a domestic and give him a quarter and then break furniture over him.
— Mark Twain
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