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I get the Reese's candy bar. You look at that, there's an apostrophe-s there. That means the candy bar is his. I didn't know that. Next time you're eating a Reese's candy bar, and a guy named Reese comes by and says, "Gimme that", you better hand it over.
— Mitch Hedberg
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Cavities are made by sugar. So if you need to dig a hole, then lay down some candy bars!
— Mitch Hedberg
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