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— Anthony Jeselnik"I try to write three jokes every morning, although I don't know what they are. I write them as fast as I can, then I put them away for a month. So I couldn't even tell you what they are, or if they're good. I just assume they weren't."
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My favorite tattoo right now is the one on my lower stomach that reads "Almost Famous" because as my career grows I'm still humbled every morning when I look at that tattoo, and I'll always remember how much it sucked to ALMOST be famous.
— Machine Gun Kelly
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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
— George Burns
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