"Being successful means good results for the national team at first in the regional competitions like the Asian Cup and keeping in mind to go for Gold at a World Cup in the future."

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I'm a whitebread cracker. That's my favorite white person slur: "whitebread". The other day, someone came up to me and said, "What's up, whitebread?" And I was like, "That's not even an insult. That's just my race plus a food. I can do that, too, black bean soup! Stay out of this, Asian chicken platter!"

— Mike Birbiglia