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— Bill Burr"You have to understand how bad I wanted to be a comedian, how much I loved doing it. I still can't believe I get to do this for a living and have people come up and want to see me."
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I was at a dinner party with a group of people, and we were talking about fake names. You know, how its difficult to come up with a really great fake name. Its a very specific type of gift. You don't want to go too far into the silly, and you don't want to go too far into the banal. I always thought one of the funniest names ever was Gern Blanston, which came from a Steve Martin routine on one of his early records.
— Paul Rudd
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Nothing is a violent as football and I bet you like. Just say you don't like it, or can't identify, don't come up with excuses like "It's too violent" while you wear some team's NFL jersey.
— Michael Wilbon
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