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— Bill Engvall"I'd love to be a woman for one day of my life... God... I would be drunk with power."
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I'm just funnier when I'm drunk. Not falling-down drunk, just drunk enough to lose the self-doubt.
— Doug Stanhope
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I swear to you, I am the cheapest drunk on the planet. It takes nothing to get me loopy and doing stupid stuff. Yeah. Some of you like that? Well... like riding an electric floor buffer for a shot of tequila. Did it!
— Bill Engvall
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