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— Bob Hope"Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It's going to get us out of the house after dark!"
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Congratulations to Saddam Hussein on being elected to another seven-year term. It was very close. He received 99 percent of the vote, and one percent of the vote went for last-minute candidate Frank Lautenberg.
— David Letterman
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An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.
— Fred Allen
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