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— Bob Hope"It's a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he's dead."
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Political advice is a bit like your average Christmas fruitcake: something everyone gives and no one wants.
— Bob Dole
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I have read that, on the average, the Japanese are getting taller, but at the moment they seem to be about the same height as American junior-high-school students, only with fewer guns.
— Dave Barry
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