"If I had to just play 200 shows a year with the same set, there'd be a gun. In my mouth. With bullets in it."

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The ultimate act of cowardice is the fat-headed wrestling guy sitting behind the frail kid in math class, clipping him on the ear, saying: 'What are you going to do about that, faggot?' That is cowardice. When the bullets start flying past that jock's saucer-shaped ears, that's not cowardice. That's payback.

— Doug Stanhope