"I really hate the creature film convention that says you have to wait until the end to see the monster. One hour and all you've seen is just the tip of the creature's tail."

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Republicans don't have to accept evolution, economics, climatology, or human sexuality, but I just watched a week of their national convention, and I need them to admit the historical existence of George W. Bush. If your party can run the nation for eight years and then have a national convention and not invite Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Colin Powell, Karl Rove, or Tom DeLay, you're not a political movement, you're the witness protection program.

— Bill Maher