"He'll never be Jordan. This clearly takes him out of the conversation. He can win as much as he wants to."

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A lot of people think that since I'm drunk in my stories, I must be drunk 24 hours a day. What kind of stupid logic is that? It'd be like if you saw Michael Jordan at a restaurant and were like, "Why aren't you in your basketball uniform?" I leave out way more than I put in.

— Tucker Max