"Turning pot handles the other way around on the stove, making sure you talk with your family and kids directly about fire safety and about kitchen safety, keeping your tree at least three feet from a heater or any kind of lights or flames, making sure that candles aren't left unattended. It's all things that we should know and we think about initially, but during the holidays, in the commotion it seems to get kind of lost."

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I made a career goals list for 2017 and it's so funny. I have low self-esteem or something, so I put both wishes and goals. The goals were things I'm going to do anyway, because I have no choice because my job is to do stand-up comedy so I have to tour and I have to write stuff. The wishes were all things that could be goals. As in, I bet people who have achieved these things called them goals at one point. But I haven't looked at that piece of paper since.

— Jen Kirkman