"I always wanted to be a player, but I never had the talent to make the big leagues. So I did the next best thing: I bought a team."

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You can’t lose with the stuff I use!”; “Some may say money is the root of all evil, but being in poverty is a damn shame!”; “The best thing you can do for the poor is not be one of them”; “God doesn’t want you to have your pie-in-the-sky, by and by, when you die. He wants you to have it now with a cherry on top!”; and “If it’s that difficult for a rich man to get into heaven, think how terrible it must be for a poor man to get in. He doesn’t even have a bribe for the gatekeeper!

— Reverend Ike