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— Charlie Sheen"The nights I don't sleep it's because there's a higher calling telling me to stand guard."
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President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.
— Craig Kilborn
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I'd rather call myself a mischief-maker, an imp, rather than a satirist. Satirist sounds so self important. Plus no one is calling himself an imp right now. It makes me feel special.
— Mo Rocca
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