"There's a new slimming course just out where they remove all your bones. Not only do you weigh less, but you also look so much more relaxed."

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I'm just saying, 'Hey, throw me a bone. How about a smile, cute t-shirt? Look at me.' Nothing - unless it's a turn to their friends to go, 'Hey, why is that weird guy looking at us?'

— Marc Maron