"My karma's the comma that puts you inside of a coma, Hyphen, dot, dot, semi-colon, leave you semi-swollen. Question mark, you pregnant? Oh you're not? I love you, period."

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The funny thing about Thanksgiving ,or any big meal, is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it then go home and cook,chop,braise and blanch. Then it's gone in 20 minutes and everybody lies around sortof in a sugar coma and then it takes 4 hours to clean it up.

— Ted Allen