"I'm always taking into consideration how the shoe will look on the foot, its relation to the ankle and the leg - that's very important. I often see shoes that seem interesting or nice until a woman puts them on. then a lot of shoes look very clunky, and nobody likes to see that."

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Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, "Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery." I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.

— Zach Galifianakis