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— Christopher Titus"Osama's dead. Why is the terror alert elevated or imminent? Why not chill? Can't I just fly, keep my shoes on and avoid X-ray-fueled testicular cancer?"
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I don't like life that much. It's not that big a deal for me... I don't want to know I have cancer till it's visible to the naked eye.
— Doug Stanhope
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I am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh. I make sense out of ridiculous situations, but in the end, it's all about laughter. It's all about your cheek hurting, your stomach hurting.
— Carlos Mencia
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