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— Chuck Palahniuk"The ultimate joke was the idea that capitalism would eat its own feces in order to make money, that would make fun of itself if capitalism thought there was a buck in it."
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I'd much rather be on stage talking to a couple of retards for twenty bucks than sitting at my desk thinking up jokes for...well let's say a few dollars more.
— Larry David
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I tried to log on to the Obamacare website today. I don't think I'm doing it right. I lost 300 bucks playing Texas Hold 'Em.
— Jay Leno
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