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"The only reason people go to bars is to get drunk and have sex. To me, bars are what hell is like."

— Clay Aiken
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The human heart would never pass the drunk test.... If you took the human heart out of the human body and put a pair of legs on it and told it to walk a straight line, it couldn't do it.

— Tennessee Williams

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I know what I think but I don't know how to put it into words. Maybe I could get a little bit drunk and dance it for you.

— Woody Allen

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