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— Conan O'Brien"Donald Trump unveiled his immigration policy and now he's getting a lot of flak. His policy would have prevented his own grandfather from coming to America. That explains his new campaign slogan: 'Vote Trump to prevent another Trump.'"
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I looked at the pilgrims coming to America. In their first year, they decided to try a communist experiment. And the first year of the pilgrims, they established this socialistic concept: 'Well, we have all this land before us - let us all work it together.' Oh, how wonderful it sounded. 'Let us all work it together, and we will share in the produce of the land.' They almost starved to death! Almost half of them died, that very first year.
— Ted Cruz
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I had some people who disagreed with me here or there - but nothing as strong as I've received, you know, coming to America. That is the irony of life, so I guess - I always tell people - I go I feel like in a strange way, I'm home. You know, this doesn't shock me. This is just - I've come a long way to be in a place that is extremely familiar to me.
— Trevor Noah
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