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— Conan O'Brien"Presidential campaign getting kind of ugly, did you hear about this? Yesterday, a 27-year-old woman came for to deny rumors that she had an affair with Democratic front-runner John Kerry. The woman added, 'I would never cheat on Bill Clinton.'"
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Kerry has already begun his search for a running mate. They say that because John Edwards still has $50 million in campaign money, Kerry might pick him. Pick him? Hey, for $50 million, Kerry will marry him.
— Jay Leno
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Real movement in the Kerry campaign now. His poll numbers are moving, donations are moving, endorsements are moving. The only thing not moving is his hair.
— Jay Leno
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