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— Craig Ferguson"I do love America. And LA is a very short commute to America its like half an hour on the plane."
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What Jack didn't understand was that no matter where he went, the same asshole got off the plane.
— Stephen King
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Never play peek-a-boo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, "Look, it's always gonna be me!"
— Rita Rudner
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