"On getting mugged: I carry around months and months of receipts. I need a mugger who can file my VAT returns."

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A priest friend of mine has cautioned me away from the standard God of our childhoods, who loves you and guides you and then, if you are bad, roasts you: God as a high school principal in a gray suit who never remembered your name but is always leafing unhappily through your files.

— Anne Lamott