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— David Letterman"John McCain turned 72 years old last Friday, but the Chinese are making him a birth certificate that says he's only 33 and then he'll be ready to go."
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I don't care where [Ted] Cruz comes from. I don't care where the President comes from. Day one, I opened an investigation on a fraudulent government Hawaii document, period, on a birth certificate, so if you can say Cruz has fake documents, okay.
— Joe Arpaio
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Today, possible presidential candidate Donald Trump released his birth certificate. It lists his eyes as blue and his hair as ridiculous.
— Conan O'Brien
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