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— David Letterman"Prince William and Kate Middleton are in New York City. We have got to do something about immigration."
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Tomorrow night President Obama will announce his new immigration plan. Obama's favorite part of his new immigration plan is that he gets to emigrate to another country. He's tired of all this.
— Conan O'Brien
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If I can't joke about imminent death, then I might as well just resign.
— James A. Owen
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