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— David Letterman"Yesterday was Election Day. If we have any Democrats in the audience, I'm sorry but you're going to have to give up your seats."
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Here's the plot of 'Interstellar.' Refugees - they're known as Democrats - they're looking for a new planet.
— David Letterman
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It is a great day for the great state of Texas. The last person being tested for Ebola has come back clean. So Texas is now Ebola free. This was a big week for them. They're now free of Ebola - and Democrats.
— Craig Ferguson
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