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— David Sedaris"To say that a humorist exaggerates to get big laughs, I don't see how that's big news."
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The anti-pleasure movement in self-discovery is very strong. I have big news for them, if they ever get to enlightenment, which is unlikely the way they're approaching it, they're going to find that enlightenment is very pleasurable.
— Frederick Lenz
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The big news is the midterm elections. Last night Republicans picked up a dozen seats in the House to give them their biggest majority since World War II. Or as they put it, 'Time to party like it's 1939!'
— Jimmy Fallon
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