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— Demetri Martin"I never give anyone just one congratulation. Congratulations are always plural. They are similar to grapes."
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Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. 'Get up early, work late - and strike oil.'
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Congratulations to Saddam Hussein on being elected to another seven-year term. It was very close. He received 99 percent of the vote, and one percent of the vote went for last-minute candidate Frank Lautenberg.
— David Letterman
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