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— Demetri Martin"I think hair gel was invented to make it easier to identify assholes from a distance."
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When you hear about what someone else is going through, and you are unable to distance yourself from it or in any way muzzle your empathy and are inspired to actually do something, these are moments to learn from.
— Henry Rollins
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It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the dog's owner - and the distance you are from your car.
— Demetri Martin
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