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— Demetri Martin"I wanna buy a bunch of hermit crabs and make them live together."
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A parade looks like a bunch of people are excited about being in traffic.
— Demetri Martin
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The most unusual salesman I ever met is a fellow who made a modest fortune purveying lightning rods. But he suddenly lost interest in his work. He got caught in a storm with a bunch of samples in his arms.
— Shelley Berman
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