"I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark."

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I don't really care what people tell children - when you believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, one more fib won't hurt. But I am infuriated by the growing notion, posited in some touchy-feely quarters, that all women are, or can be, beautiful.

— Julie Burchill