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— Donald Trump"I think I did a great job and a great service not only for the country, but even for the president [Barack Obama], in getting him to produce his birth certificate."
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The birth certificate of the royal baby lists her parents' occupations as being 'the prince and princess of the United Kingdom.' It says that under occupation, which I guess sounds better than 'unemployed.'
— Conan O'Brien
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Guns have little or nothing to do with juvenile violence. The causes of youth violence are working parents who put their kids into daycare, the teaching of evolution in the schools, and working mothers who take birth control pills.
— Tom DeLay
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