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— Drew Carey"I don't run outside, honestly. Sometimes I go out around my house, but mainly it's the stupid treadmill. I wish I had a better answer, but I'm very businesslike about my runs."
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There may never be a baby book that offers the conclusive answer to every question, but it's possible to extract some wisdom from the suffering of past generations of parents. Does the book you're reading contradict itself repeatedly, require you to override all your parental instincts, or send you into a panic over your own inadequacy? If so, burn it.
— Libby Copeland
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How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer.
— Mike Birbiglia
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