"A couple must agree on the following topics: 1) Do they want kids? 2) Do they want a dog? 3) Do they want sex? 4) Do they want sleep? (If they answer yes to 3 and 4, then they must answer no to 1.) And finally, 5) Who mixes the cocktails before they both don the sexy rubber gloves and clean the toilet?"

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There was also a hunger strike in front of the National Press Club, which seemed an odd place to have a hunger strike (a cocktail fast, maybe). Although the Bangladeshis were savvy enough to know to know that if you're going to pester journalists, don't go to where they work: You'll never find them there.

— P. J. O'Rourke