"There's not much makeup in the army, is there? No. They only have that nighttime look, and that's a bit slapdash, isn't it?"

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Who am I? this or the other? Am I one person today and tomorrow another? Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others, and before myself a contemptible woebegone weakling? Or is something within me still like a beaten army fleeing in disorder from a victory already achieved? Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine. Whoever I am, Thou knowest, O God, I am thine!

— Dietrich Bonhoeffer