"Does one eat peanuts at a ball game?' 'It ain't hardly legal if you don't."

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A barber is by nature and inclination a sport. He can tell you at what exact hour the ball game is to begin, can foretell its issue without losing a stroke of the razor, and can explain the points of inferiority of all the players, as compared with the better men that he has personally seen elsewhere, with the nicety of a professional.

— Stephen Leacock