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— Emo Philips"I'm totally normal in every respect, but I have this one quirk - I can't give out a number without laughing. It's a problem when I'm giving my credit card number over the phone because they always think: 'He must have just stolen it.'"
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My first job as a kid was going from door to door selling Christmas cards, to raise money for my grandmother's hip replacement. Because, you know... You break it, you buy it.
— Emo Philips
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
— Jeff Foxworthy
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