"Life is one heck of an invention. It is better than the iPhone 4S and Coke Zero combined."

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Two things happened. The creative side of my career was harmed. When I'd sit down and write under the influence of coke, the ratio of pages kept to pages thrown out declined drastically. But onstage, when rapping about a feeling I already owned, I would sometimes get a burst of eloquence.

— George Carlin