"I've talked to a few writers who have had childhood illnesses. The sense of convalescence - the feeling that you're waiting to become a real person - is quite an interesting thing. You're seeing all of your friends doing amazing things and you're just there, in a void, feeling a bit stupid. I wouldn't be able to say what I'd have been like without it, but maybe I'd be incredibly high-powered and successful. It also forced me to spend most of my time in my imagination."

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I talked to over two hundred patients and family members about their experiences with aging, serious illnesses, and the big unfixables. But I also spoke with scores of physicians, and especially geriatricians, palliative care doctors, hospice nurses, and nursing home workers. The biggest thing I found was that when these clinicians were at their best, they were recognizing that people had priorities besides merely living longer. The most important and reliable way that we can understand what people's priorities are, besides just living longer, is to simply ask. And we don't ask.

— Atul Gawande