Frank Carson Quotes | I'm really worried about my girlfriend's mora...

"I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals ... she has NEXT written on her knickers."

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Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"

— Jimmy Carr

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And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!

— Rodney Dangerfield

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