"The council in Blackpool have given the homeless bus passes, but how would they know where to get off?"

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The kid makes you sick. He looks the part, he walks the part, he is the part. He's six-foot something, fit as a flea, good-looking - he's got to have something wrong with him....Hopefully he's hung like a hamster! That would make us all feel better!

— Cristiano Ronaldo