"I gave my girlfriend something she didn't expect for Valentine's day... Chlamydia."

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God says, 'One woman, one man,' and everyone says, 'Oh, that's old hat, that's that old Bible stuff,'" he said. "But I'm thinking, well let's see now. A clean guy - a disease-free guy and a disease-free woman - they marry and they keep their sex between the two of them. They're not going to get chlamydia, and gonorrhea, and syphilis, and AIDS. It's safe.

— Phil Robertson