"Nine times out of 10, the most charming thing to say in any given situation will be the exact opposite of what one really feels."

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I'm very harsh on real estate agents. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because of how the call every small house 'charming' and every run-down house a 'great fixer-upper'. Just once, I'd like them to show me a house and declare, 'This one's a piece of crap'.

— Stephan Pastis