"All autobiographies are lies. I do not mean unconscious, unintentional lies: I mean deliberate lies."

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This autobiography of mine is a mirror, and I am looking at myself in it all the time. Incidentally I notice the people that pass along at my back - I get glimpses of them in the mirror - and whenever they say or do anything that can help advertise me and flatter me and raise me in my own estimation, I set these things down in my autobiography.

— Mark Twain