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— George Burns"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read."
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
— Bob Hope
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I was looking in the mirror the other day and I realized I haven't changed much since I was in my twenties. The only difference is I look a whole lot older now.
— George Carlin
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