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— Henny Youngman"My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!"
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If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
— Vance Havner
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I guess he wanted to see a little more sexual activity because in real life, in bed I think less is more and let the woman come to me. Frankly, I don't even need a woman there.
— Garry Shandling
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