"Why do you ever mend your clothes, unless that, wearing them, you may mend your ways. Let us sing."

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A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.

— Henny Youngman