"You're a fine fastidious young man, as proud as a lion, as gentle as a girl. You'd make a good catch for the devil."

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I think a lot of people mistake my confidence on stage for cockiness in real life, and that's actually farthest from the truth. When I'm on stage I'm that confident and that cocky, because I have a microphone in my hand, and there's a few thousand people staring at me. And I know they're there to laugh.

— Russell Peters